blue
by misguideddreamer
Summary: in 1950s London, Bonnie Bennett's about to be reunited with more than a few old friends. m for later chapters.
1. we are full of wonder

**disclaimer: **don't own tvd, this applies to all of this story, etc. etc.

**notes: **basically I want Bonnie x character development to come out of this fic...and Bonnie x everyone because we all know she deserves better than what she's getting down. there's no Klaus in this chapter (unfortunately) but he makes his grand entrance next chapter accompanied by sexy stubble so I suggest you stick around! also, love to you if you read all of this and still decide to read this chapter.

**warnings: **none in this chapter, fully harmless stuff, but a general warning for any of my stories is that me and updates never work out, so expect sporadic updates and lots of apologies.

thank you!

* * *

Since she was a child, Bonnie's been caught in the middle of a war. It's one of her earliest memories- her arms outstretched to see if her fingers could brush the brick walls surrounding the Mikaelson and Salvatore compounds.

She's never really been caught in the middle, per se apart from those short few years in her childhood, because she's never known anyone but the Salvatore brothers.

Damon's the eldest; he's the kind of unattainable hot she's been lusting after since she realised what sex was.

And Stefan is her rock. There is no other way to put it- Stefan is her anchor, solid and stone and always there.

But there was a time before, she knows, when there was another boy who joined them. And they loved him (she loved him) until it all fell apart.

Bonnie fumbles with the key in her hand and hitches her work bag up, nodding to the Salvatore watchman as she passes him and pushing the memories to the back of her mind. Her own home is located in the middle of the other two, the ancestral Bennett house, renowned for its beauty as everything in this area is.

She's expecting the call of her name the minute she opens her gate, and he does not disappoint. "Bonnie!" Stefan calls, and she can hear the urgency in his voice.

"Come quick," she mutters under her breath with a smile and an eye roll, pushing the door open. "I need you to see something."

She waves and shuts the door behind her, certain that Stefan will be frowning at this point. "Grams," she calls, dropping her bag and slipping her shoes off. "I'm home."

The house is silent as always as she runs with bare feet down the carpeted corridor, heading for the kitchen. It's alive as always- the sound of laughter fills the room and light spills easily from it.

"Baby," Grams says, leaning over and placing a plate of fruit in front of Bonnie. "Where have you been?"

"Sorry," she murmurs, stabbing a banana with her fork. "I got kept behind at work."

She adjusts the floral print of her work frock and takes the time to admire it; as she always does with Grams' creations. It's in tune with the fashions; straps which tie at the back of her neck and a skirt which flows from the cinched waist.

Grams shakes her head and laughs, sliding an invitation over to Bonnie. "The Mikaelsons want to invite us to Finn and Sage's engagement."

It's an unusual gesture- the Bennetts and the Mikaelsons are not close and rarely ever talk, and Bonnie takes that to mean that the engagement will be a grand display of wealth.

"Tomorrow," she says in surprise, fingers flitting over the embossed card. "A bit short notice."

"Rebekah came over to give it to us personally," Grams tuts and shakes her head. "Seemed awful apologetic but I don't know if I can trust that family. Still, it wouldn't hurt to be friendly and just go."

The phone rings then, loud and shrill and causing Grams to jump as it always does. She picks it up with a grin and turns to Bonnie with an eye roll. "Stefan says to come over, although I should give him a piece of my mind, acting as if you're at his beck and call all the time."

"I don't mind," Bonnie laughs, sliding off the stool and brushing her lips against Grams' cheek. "We're friends."

Grams harrumphs but watches Bonnie leave with a smile.

**X**

She doesn't really do much other than slip her feet into flats and run a brush through her hair, but the way Stefan calls for her is as if the world will fall if she doesn't come to find him.

Bonnie groans and laughs and slips into his room as she has done for all of her nineteen years, expecting his figure to be curled, as usual, over the edge of the piano.

He doesn't disappoint. "Come listen," Stefan says, smile lighting up as he becomes aware of her presence, fingers already pressing the ivory and ebony keys before him.

Bonnie listens to the notes that fall from the piano with bated breath- heart in sync with each rise and fall of the music. His long, pale fingers glide over the keys and she rests a chin in her hand, flopping onto his bed and waiting as the music swells to a gentle crescendo. "What do you think?" He asks her, resting his head on his forearms and exhaling quietly.

"Well" Bonnie mimes a shrug and waits for his face to crease before she laughs. "I loved it," she says truthfully, moving to stand behind him. "It was pretty."

He frowns again and she brushes her finger over the crease with a soft smile. "I loved it," she repeats, and refuses to look away from him until he finally, finally cracks a smile.

Below, there is a crack of something hitting a wall, or maybe a palm hitting flesh, Bonnie doesn't want to think about it.

"—should have died in the war," someone shouts, but Bonnie recognises the gruff tones of Salvatore Senior well enough.

Stefan's face crumbles immediately, and Bonnie thinks of Damon in the aftermath of the war, of the shaking and the screaming and the not sleeping it has taken him almost a year to overcome, and knows that she hates the Salvatore patriarch with a venom so acute she would sting him if she could.

As it is, she probably shouldn't be thinking of murdering her boss. Instead, she forces the anger back into the pit of her stomach where it gathers with a hundred other coils of venom, and pulls the tiny silver key from the chain around her neck.

Stefan barely registers her movement to his moneybox, so engrossed is he in reading his sheet music and pretending not hear the poison spewing out of his father's mouth.

"No good for business," comes the shout, and Bonnie can't help herself- she snaps and slams the door to Stefan's room with a resounding crack. Stefan begins to play the piano as she eases the lid of his moneybox open, finding the pennies she's searching for.

"I'm taking 10 pennies," she calls, snapping the lid down again. Stefan shakes his head and laughs at her, pausing his Bach playing to groan.

"How many times do I need to tell you," he starts, and she knows the words that will come next because he has said them to her millions of times before, "you don't need to ask me."

Bonnie thinks back to her three year old self, dropped off at her father's by her mother and can still remember the crinkle in Abby's eyes as she smiled down at her daughter, face barely visible in the gloom.

"You'll be safe here, darling," Abby whispers to her little daughter, safe in the knowledge that her daughter will be untouched by the world of hurt that is soon to surround her. Don't cry in front of Bonnie, she reminds herself, and slaps one open palm against the large door of the Bennett residence.

Sadness still coats Bonnie's every movement the first time she bumps into Stefan Salvatore. She's out, sitting in the garden because her Grams think it will make her happier, when he appears at the gate of his families' compound, hand in hand with a beautiful woman who can only be his mother.

Bonnie remembers her own mother, lost in the night, and begins to cry.

Cianna Salvatore gives the crying child a panicked look and hurries over, Stefan in her wake. "Tell me what's wrong," she says to Bonnie, golden hair catching the sunlight as she presses a kerchief into Bonnie's tiny palm. "Come inside and tell me what's wrong."

Sometimes Bonnie thinks that she can remember Cianna better than Stefan does-flopped onto Stefan's bed with the pennies clinking in her pocket and all she can do is wish Cianna were there to laugh at her and squeeze her cheeks and tell her how much she's grown.

She has Grams for that, of course, to whisper words like"—better than Marilyn Monroe" into her ear when she goes out with her friends, but Cianna was the first woman who had enough time for her. Grams tried, she really did, and Grams is her flesh and blood, but they were going through a particularly rough patch and Grams found herself always elbow deep in work. That left little Bonnie to wander over to the Salvatore house most afternoons, and join in Stefan and Klaus' games, and sometimes when they were mean to her, just sit with Cianna and listen to her sing.

"Stefan!" The command rings around the quiet room and Bonnie winces in surprise.

"The king of the universe is calling," she mocks bitterly, and Stefan shakes his head but descends the stairs as he is bid.

She lets herself out, slipping from the background of the argument, taking stock of the muscle ticking in Damon's jaw; the tautness of Stefan's back, and slips away back to her own house.

**X**

When she gets back into the kitchen, Grams is sketching dress designs while some herbs boil in a pot on the gas.

Bonnie takes in the scent of witch hazel and tucks her legs underneath her, hopping onto the dining table. "Does dad still have a cold?"

Grams only nods her head and stops scribbling to stir the pot. "I'm drawing up a dress design for tomorrow night," she smiles, "I've got an old dress of mine made out this gorgeous silk fabric I'd love to recut, but it's going to take a while."

"I don't understand why you insist on overworking yourself."

"If I didn't do it child, someone would have to. Besides, I enjoy feeling useful and I enjoy sewing."

Bonnie's the exact opposite. She prefers numbers and the way they lay themselves out on the page; she can read them in an instant. She's been working for Salvatore Corp. from the end of the war, when she was barely thirteen and has managed to work her way up to being a respected accountant.

"Be a dear and get me the dress from my wardrobe please," Grams asks, and Bonnie knows she'll be up on her little sewing machine til the early hours of the morning.

She shakes her head but hops off the stool and makes her way upstairs anyway, searching for the gilt wardrobe that holds Grams' old dresses and their formalwear.

The Bennetts used to be a force to reckon with; she's heard the stories of the balls they used to throw; of Christmas at the Bennett house and how they used to be equal to the Salvatores. Grams' old dresses reflect that- dozens of them in every colour of the rainbow-floor length and sweeping with bodices cut low. Bonnie gulps and makes her way to the blue tulle with the dark blue sash, ashamed that Grams has to cut up one of her old dresses to give Bonnie one of her own.

"I could go in my yellow day dress," Bonnie suggests, unfolding the tulle onto the workbench. "Add a different sash and put some pearls on it and it'll be good as new."

Grams clicks her tongue at Bonnie and gives her a light slap on the bum. "I wouldn't dream of it. And anyway, what are we going to do with all these outdated dresses?"

Nonetheless, Bonnie leaves Grams to her sewing and retires to her room, aware that her Dad won't be getting home til much later that evening.

He's been overworking himself for the past five years or so, since the bomb landed on his largest development and completely splintered it and the company still hasn't fully recovered.

What good is going to come with me worrying about it? Bonnie thinks, but even so makes her way to her locked vanity to retrieve the jewellery case that contains her mother's jewels.

The pearls wink up at her, nestled in their blue satin wrapping, and Bonnie fingers the three strands and remembers the cool feel of them on her cheek when Abby hugged her.

She's long gone now, probably dead somewhere, and these are the last links she has with her mother. Bonnie knows she'll sell them if she has to, and she snaps the lid shut and relocks the case.

She's weary when she finally climbs into the bed, cold and bone tired, and she needs new slippers but can't find any money to buy them- not when most of her meagre income goes into managing the house. Her dad's still busy trying to pay off the debts he acquired during the war.

She remembers Stefan's latest melody and a smile touches her lips. At least she's not alone.

**X**

"You're slouching," Grams calls as Bonnie enters the kitchen. "Get your posture together and come look at the dress I made you."

Bonnie rolls her eyes but follows Grams to her little sewing room, gasp falling from her lips when she sees the dress on its dummy.

It's flawless- sleeveless blue tulle with lilac accents, the tiny waist cinched in by the dark blue sash. No one will be able to tell that it hasn't been made by the upscale dressmakers. "It's gorgeous," Bonnie says, and Grams shoots her a self satisfied smile.

"Go and try it on," she grins, "and Stefan was calling for you but I told him not to expect you until you were ready."

"What?" Grams says upon seeing Bonnie's expression. "That boy takes up far too much of your time anyway."

Bonnie shakes her head and takes the dress anyway, already adding Abby's pearls to it in her mind's eye, and the heeled blue peep toed shoes she bought last year.

The dress fits perfectly, accentuating her small waist and flaring out to just below the knee. It's only after she's painted her face and slipped on her shoes that she remembers she has to go see Stefan.

"You'll be late if you go to visit him now," Grams warns her.

"I won't stay long," Bonnie promises and leaves for the night.

**X**

The problem, she decides, with flashy parties like the Mikaelsons always throw, is that she always finds herself on the fringes of things and never quite belongs, yet Bonnie knows that she cannot not attend. She would much rather spend time with Stefan, she thinks, tapping her fingers along the wooden bannister leading up to his room.

She knocks on the heavy door before she enters (and walks in right away, but she likes to at least give the impression that she is polite) and flounces into his room, loving the flow of the dress around her legs.

"You look nice," Stefan remarks from where he's stretched out lazily on his bed, shifting through piles of paperwork.

"Thanks."

Bonnie perches on the edge of his mattress and peeks at the papers. "Why are you doing accounts now?"

"He asked me to look over some papers," Stefan says stiffly, and then, before they can lapse into silence, "where are you going?"

"Finn and Sage's engagement."

His eyes snap towards her and she understands what he is asking her, but she merely shakes her head at him. There was a time, before all of this, when Stefan and Klaus were inseparable and their mothers whispered that they were finally going to break the tradition of animosity that ran through the two families for centuries. And then Cianna died and it all fell apart.

"You were friends once," She whispers, taking stock of the shadows that cross his features.

"Once." Stefan says, and there is a cold note in his tone more suited to his father than to sweet little Stefan with his unfailing kindness, drummed into him after countless afternoons spent with his mother.

Bonnie raises an eyebrow and clenches her fist inside her glove, feeling the glide of silk over her skin. "I don't want to argue with you about this."

He sighs and shifts towards her, slinging an arm around her shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze. "That's all we ever seem to do when the Mikaelsons are brought up, isn't it? It's all I ever seem to do when they're mentioned."

Bonnie places her cheek onto the thin cotton shirt covering his chest and gives him a small smile. "I don't blame you. I can barely recall what happened but it was…bad."

It's a lie. She can remember every scream, every broken glass hurled at the wall, every look she got from Klaus- _choose me_- with a great deal of detail. But she's giving Stefan an opportunity to talk about it, here and now, and take at least one load off his back.

The bell tolls downstairs, loud and ominous, the nine tolls echoing through the cold house. He has everything; but he has nothing. She supposes the Mikaelsons' are much the same.

_Bennetts stay together, _Bonnie promises herself, _always. _And they might not be rich, but they're happy. Happier than most, anyway.

He sighs; and she knows she won't get anything out of him tonight. She lets the silence settle itself over them, warm and comforting, for exactly a minute, before he starts humming into her hair.

Bonnie pokes him. "You're always thinking about music."

He smiles and doesn't deny it, and she crosses over to the piano and picks up one of the marble figurines, running her fingers over the carved face. Stefan groans and she looks back at him, smile already on her painted lips as she looks at the sheaf of papers he is holding in his hand.

"Help me out with these, will you?"

"But if I do that," She says playfully, taking the papers and letting them fall in a jumble to the floor, "How will you ever learn?"

"I can't believe you just did that!" He says, standing and advancing towards her with a menacing grin. Bonnie laughs and backs away, giggle slipping from her tongue. Stefan grabs her hand as she makes to leave, and she plants a finger on his nose and pushes him away, slipping out of the door as quickly as she came.

"Have fun!" Stefan calls after her, trying to quash the thrumming note of jealousy that has already begun to grow in his heart.


	2. new septembers

**notes:** this turned out to be weirdly dramatic because I was listening to sad music and rewatching all of the originals family scenes and all the scenes with them in them _have_ to be overdramatic as a rule of thumb. stefan doesn't make much of an appearance in this one but woo! Klaus! klonnie interaction! klaus at the moment in blue is a very kind of 'good' guy, like i'm writing him as the underdog who has been beaten down a few too many times to get back up, but don't worry, evil klaus will make his appearance in later chapters. i'm just trying to illustrate the depth of his affection/regard for bonnie, to the baby klaus he is the be all and end all of his world. also bonlijah are so sexy together, don't lie to yourself.

**warnings:** mentions of child abuse, minor blood tw,

* * *

She makes her way to the Mikaelsons' with the kind of euphoric joy spending time with Stefan always shoots through her, but the minute Bonnie steps inside the compound, she finds an ominous feeling creeping through her- the dark leaves seem to whisper warnings as she walks up the stone path. She almost wants to turn around and run; she feels so out of her comfort zone.

Bonnie shrugs off her silver wrap and hands it to the doorman with a smile, taking in the glimpse of the dark panelled cloakroom, filled to the brim with furs and silk wraps that she is afforded when he places her wrap into it. "Thank you," She says, and gives him a grateful smile as she turns away.

"Miss Bennett," someone says from outside the cloakroom, and while she might not recognise the deep timbre of his voice; she recognises the upper class drawl and knows that it is either a Mikaelson or a prolific guest. Mikaelson, she would assume, as they were more likely to know her name.

She takes a deep breath and turns to face whichever Mikaelson it happens to be. "Yes?"

The smile she is given seems to be genuine, and Bonnie's eyes flicker to the man dressed in a perfectly pressed tuxedo and she imagines she knows who it is. "Elijah, am I right?"

He laughs - politely- everything about this man is carefully calculated, from the width of the tie to his flick of his hair. He gives off the air of a very good businessman. "You are correct."

He holds his arm out to her as he catches her assessing him, prompting Bonnie to take it and allow him to lead her into the ballroom.

The minute that she enters the room, she is glad that Grams insisted that she needed a new dress. The girls around her are dripping in jewels- large clusters of emeralds and sapphires hang off their thin necks, pearls dripping from their earlobes. Bonnie's hand reaches automatically for her three string pearl necklace and she notices Elijah watching her, eyes the colour of burnished wood that take in every emotion that flickers across her face.

"Congratulations," She offers, unsure of exactly what he wants from her.

Elijah smiles. "Finn and Sage have been destined ever since they first met almost a decade ago. We all knew it was a matter of when, not if."

Bonnie's mind wanders back to Stefan, most probably playing piano in his room and waiting for her to come back, and she smiles. "Everyone has that one person," she remarks softly. "Finn and Sage are lucky that they found each other so easily."

When she looks up again, he's watching her with that same unreadable expression as before, and Bonnie finds herself –once again- unsure of how to act around him. She clears her throat and watches him shake the lingering shadows cloaking his expression and return to an easy smile.

"Let me introduce you to the family," he pulls her to the corner of the room where they have migrated, "We haven't spoken to you for a while."

She can see Rebekah from a mile away, her white blonde hair a direct contrast to her brothers' darker colourings, stunning as always in a dress that dips low in the front and back and clings to her skin, lips painted a striking crimson.

Bonnie allows herself to be tugged towards the family, more than aware of the looks she is drawing from being on Elijah's arm. The Mikaelson children look up as she enters their circle, and she has a strange feeling that she is interfering where she does not belong. Elijah introduces her with a smile, and Bonnie gives the group a reluctant smile as a sandy haired man steps forward and takes her hand with a grin.

"Good evening, Bonnie," Klaus smirks at her and brushes his lips along her knuckles in a way that makes her _very _aware of the stubble smattering his jaw line.

She thinks: this was Stefan's best friend, and for a time, mine. Her grip tightens on Elijah's arm as she remembers the grief that no one was allowed to acknowledge in the wake of Cianna's death.

"It's been a while," he says, and when she glances into his eyes she thinks that they are tinged with sadness.

"Behave yourself, Niklaus," Elijah scolds, and Bonnie watches the family exchange looks.

"Kol," a charming grin crosses his features, and the baby of the family, and he too brushes his lips over Bonnie's knuckles, but it doesn't have the same electrifying chill that Klaus' held (and how could it? For one, she doesn't have the same history with Kol, for another, his face is ridiculously boyish). "And this is Finn, and my soon to be sister."

Bonnie smiles politely and shakes both of their hands, taking care to keep her grip firm. She learnt long ago the importance of a good handshake.

"So glad you could make it," Rebekah steps forward and throws her perfectly coiffed hair over one shoulder, embodying elegance. "Your Grams mentioned that you're usually quite busy in the evenings, and I know that you…work."

She doesn't miss the thinly veiled implication in the blonde's tone, and forces herself to grit her teeth into a smile. "Work takes up a lot of my time, but accounting is something that interests me, so I don't mind."

Rebekah's expression switches for a split second: from condescending to almost longing, before she settles on a cool smile.

_Interesting, _Bonnie thinks. Her eyes flit to Elijah then, who has shifted slightly, and finds him looking at Rebekah with an admonishing expression.

Behind her, the orchestra begins to play a gentle waltz, reminding her of the large portraits in the gallery depicting the old balls that used to take place here.

Elijah steps further away from her for a second and Bonnie looks at him in surprise as he extends an arm to her for the second time that evening. "A dance, Miss Bennett?" And he is unfailingly polite as always, but she can't stop the race of her heart under both his and Klaus' gazes as she takes his arm.

They turn around the dance floor easily- she is comfortable with letting him lead and she peers over his shoulder at the swirling gowns and dancing couples, content to observe.

"You look striking," Elijah says, and she looks up at him, surprise colouring her face. "And quite different from the child I used to know."

She laughs quietly, tilting her head back so she can take stock of his expression. "I'm thankful for that, I assure you. You've changed too."

Bonnie finds herself emulating his formal way of speaking, startled at how quickly the words roll off her tongue. He has changed too- he never used to be so formal, polite yes, but now Elijah holds himself away from everyone else. Tragedy clouds their family too, she understands.

"How have you all been?" She questions softly, aware of the arm around her waist, in exactly the position that was proper, tightening.

He exhales, and when she looks at him his expression is tight, however she doesn't get a chance to hear her answer when he is tapped on the back by none other than Klaus. "Mind if I cut in?" He asks, and Elijah looks like he does mind, but looks to Bonnie as she shrugs, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

"Sure," She says, and is aware that Elijah's expression is slightly disappointed as he walks away.

Klaus' body is slimmer than his brother's under her long fingers; his hand grazes much lower down on her body, too. Bonnie finds herself subconsciously holding her breath, waiting for him to bring up everything that had gone down between them all that summer.

He doesn't.

Instead, he pulls her closer than polite and ignores the looks they're attracting. Bonnie knows that she should be stopping this, but everything falls away under the heat of his blue eyes.

"You've changed." Klaus mutters against the lobe of her ear, and Bonnie shudders.

"Your brother said pretty much the same thing." She forces one hand to creep up to his chest and push him away from her slightly, fingers grazing the fabric above his nipple.

She almost apologises when a pained expression crosses his face, but can't bring herself to.

Klaus spins her faster than Elijah did, and doesn't hold her like she's a china doll. Bonnie's not sure how she's supposed to be feeling about that, but knows that she has to talk to him. After all, it's been over seven years.

"You're grown up now," She starts, and he chuckles.

"You too, Bonnie Bennett. You're more gorgeous than you were back then." Her eyes seem to seek his out and everything else seems to fall away. She can't let that happen again.

Bonnie can't do anything but raise an eyebrow at him and try to squash the memories he brings to the surface of her mind.

"How's Stefan?" He asks, and she's struck by the aching vulnerability in his eyes as he traces her cheek gently. They've stopped moving, and they're standing on the edge of the polished floor, gazing into each other's eyes. Bonnie can't bring herself to break away.

She quirks her lips upwards and holds his gaze. "Different. But you are too."

Rebekah clears her throat from behind them, a quietly polished cough that is designed to embarrass. Bonnie jumps away, blush colouring her cheeks as she ducks her head down. "You two should go somewhere a little more private." Her words are carefully placed arrows, ready to strike. "Before mother and father make it home."

**X**

It's a warning, one that Klaus takes into consideration as he loops his fingers through her own, and the silk of their gloves touches.

She allows herself to be pulled up the large, sweeping staircase to his room, surprised when they turned left instead of right as she remembered. The tiles were patterned under the soles of her heels as they moved to the unfamiliar wing of the house, the air almost dusty and desolate.

"You've changed rooms," She says when they reach the very end of the corridor and Klaus pushes the door open with a grim smile.

His voice is bitter as he shuts the door behind her. "Something about having blood in the cracks of my floorboards unsettled me."

Bonnie curses herself for not remembering as she turns around the room, eyes landing on the books that seem to occupy every free surface. It's lonely in this wing- when she knew the Mikaelsons and on the rare occasions they visited, this was the guest wing. She notes that none of his siblings moved with him.

"Drink?" He asks, and Bonnie shakes her head and follows him to the window.

The view she is afforded is almost pitch black, but as Bonnie's breath makes little patches of fog on the window, she recognises the houses she can see, and she would know the back of them anywhere.

Bonnie thinks of the little boy who loved to paint, more than anything, and the painting of her that he did one night.

She still has it.

And she knows then that Klaus can see everything; every time she makes her way from her room to Stefan's, every time one of their lights goes off.

Bonnie won't lie- she finds it more than a little unsettling. The glass is cool under her fingertips as she pulls her fingers away and looks at the five little white crescents her gloved fingers have left. She is aware of his gaze on her.

Stefan's light is on. She can imagine him, hunched over his piano, fingers moving rapidly over the keys. She wishes she were with him and wishes she'd never thought that the minute Klaus' eyes meet hers.

Bonnie just doesn't know where she stands with him. "Klaus-"She's aware nothing she will say will make it better, but is also aware that she has to try.

He looks at her with glinting blue eyes, so _brilliant_, and stops her midway. "It's okay Bonnie, I understand."

His hand moves over her gloved one then, and she allows him to take it, surprised by the sting of tears beneath her eyelids when she closes her eyes.

"How are things now?" She asks, and Bonnie's wondering whether it has improved- if he can go down to breakfast without first checking who it is in the room, if he can speak freely now. She remembers his family and doubts he can.

He shrugs, and his meaning is clear. "Do you want to see some of my paintings?" He smiles at her, and she is reminded of the boy that she once knew. Her eyes follow his progress across the room as a bang goes off outside, and she knows that there will be fireworks, a veritable supernova of colour she would love to witness.

But this is more important. And she's tried to convince herself for so long that he's doing fine, but reality has hit her like a tonne of bricks and all she wants to do is crumple. She soothes the pressed wrinkles of fabric with her fingers and tries to calm her beating heart, staring at the black and white tiles before her and imagining his old room.

When he rolls out the canvas, she is struck by its beauty. He has improved. The brushstrokes are orange and red and golden, flames licking the piece and tearing it apart. It makes her feel powerful. He comes to stand before her and she turns to him with a smile.

"Bit different from stick figures drawn by a five year old," She says, and he laughs, the deep tones of his voice sending feeling skittering down her back.

"What do you think?"

"I preferred the stick figures," She jokes and her giggle grows when she thinks of Stefan, so like Klaus, needing affirmation in this manner. His grin is precious, and her features soften as she takes him in.

"It's pretty," She echoes her words to Stefan the evening before, and is rewarded with a satisfied smile from Klaus.

"I know," he says, and she shakes her head. Outside, the darkness has fully enshrouded the town, and she can't even see the outline of their houses anymore, only one little square of light in each.

"Oh," She realises, looking at the window of her house. "Grams is waiting for me."

Klaus raises an eyebrow at her, as if daring her to say what else, and finishing the sentiment when she can't. "So is Stefan."

Bonnie bites her lip and squeezes his gloved hand. "It was nice seeing you again."

She gently detangles their fingers and turns away. "You too," Klaus says, and he seems far away.

Bonnie doesn't make it to the door before he grips her wrist and turns her to him, sending her straight into his chest. It's hard, she thinks before she can stop herself, and something like pride wells up in her. He's strong.

Klaus' arms come around her and she relaxes into the embrace, moving her own hands carefully to loop around his waist. They stay like that for a second, breathing in sync, before he lets her go. "Come by again, Bonnie Bennett." Is all he says, and there is a small smile on his face as he watches her leave the room.

**X**

Elijah's waiting by the cloakroom. She shouldn't be surprised, Bonnie thinks as she allows him to put the wrap around her. She's just so exhausted from tonight. "May I escort you home?" He asks, and she shakes her head. Bonnie just really needs to sleep, _now_.

"Sorry."

A dark expression crosses his face and runs his fingers through his perfectly set hair, tousling it. Bonnie recognises that something is bothering him and also recognises that she might be it. Elijah doesn't like being out of his depth, she knows, but no Mikaelson is ever comfortable when it comes to handling Klaus. The thought is bitter when it crosses her mind.

"Is Niklaus alright?"

"As can be expected," Bonnie says coolly, then turns to leave with her nose in the air. He watches her until she is engulfed by the darkness and then for a minute longer- she can feel it.

Bonnie knots her fingers together as she stands in front of the Salvatore compound, aware that Klaus is probably watching her, catching the sparkly fabric of her wrap from his window. The moon glints off it. She deliberates going up to Stefan, but the exhaustion creeps up to her so she bends down and grabs a smooth pebble, throwing it to his window as hard as she can.

It takes him three beats to open his window and call out to her. Bonnie takes one look at his face and wants nothing more than to run up there and cry, but knows she has to go. "How'd it go?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"I'm tired."

He looks at her sympathetically, and the fact that Klaus is watching this exchange makes her skin crawl with guilt, but it cannot be helped. "We'll talk tomorrow."

She agrees and blows him a kiss before disappearing into the relative safety of her home.

Bonnie lets the wrap drop the minute she is back inside the house, more than ready to run to her bed and fall into sleep, but she notes the light on in the kitchen and makes her way to it instead.

She gets so little time with her dad now; she must take what she can.

Her dad and Grams are sitting at the rough kitchen table, talking over little mugs of herbal tea when she enters the room.

"Bonnie," Her dad looks at her with a smile and she returns it, sliding into her usual seat at the table. "You look so grown up."

It's not the first complement she has received tonight (far from it) yet it is easily the most genuine.

Grams laughs and sets a mug in front of Bonnie. "No thanks to her. If the child had it her way, she'd have gone in an old day dress."

Her dad seems to wince and Bonnie follows suit, staring awkwardly into her mug. It isn't his fault, and Grams didn't mean it as such, but her dad seems to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She clears her throat before the silence can grow lukewarm. "I saw Klaus again today."

Grams' eyebrows disappear into her hair, and she leans forward. "Is he okay?"

"As can be expected…I don't know, I feel bad."

Her dad smiles reassuringly at her over his mug, and she knows he doesn't know the extent of what happens, but he's always been there to listen to her complain.

"Hey, you guys were kids. And you did the best you could. You don't owe them anything."

"Listen to your dad, baby, he's right. He's also overworking himself and a complete idiot."

Bonnie laughs and shares a _look _with her dad.

They sit like that for another hour, until Bonnie finds herself fighting to keep her eyes open and has to gently remind everyone that she has work in the morning tomorrow.

"You work too hard," Her dad says, as he drops a kiss onto her forehead and ruffles her hair. Bonnie notes the dark smudges under his eyes and raises and eyebrow at him. "You were supposed to go to college," He says sadly, and she shakes her head and gives him a hug.

"I don't care, dad," Bonnie smiles at him, and she means it. There's no resentment in her for not being able to continue her education if she can help keep the family going.

Grams slings an arm around Bonnie's shoulders and gives her a tight squeeze. "You're a good girl, Bonnie. You'll do well for yourself."

Bonnie grins at her family and makes her way upstairs, aware that the unfailing loyalty they have towards each other will never break.

* * *

**end notes: **haha so do you guys prefer bonnie with klaus or bonnie with stefan?


	3. lions to the slaughter

**notes: **introducing bonnie x elena x caroline, a friendship i'll hopefully do more justice to than the tvd writers (no i'm not bitter at all) but obviously the main friendship/relationship i'm exploring here is bonnie x stefan x klaus. there's a lot of tension there and also bonnie's family situation is essential to the story so yeah there's that...also i have the beginning of next chapter written and we get to see klaus do something very stupid but also take a step closer to becoming the klaus he'll be in about five chapters time which is exciting.

**warnings: **mentions of PTSD, abusive relationships

* * *

"Hurry up!" Caroline urges, tapping one heeled foot impatiently against the wooden floorboard as Bonnie shoves her papers into her file. "We're like ten minutes late already!"

"I'm pretty sure Elena won't mind," Bonnie says as she rises, rolling her eyes and swinging her bag over her shoulder.

She runs a quick hand through her hair as they walk, only half listening to Caroline's babbling. Most of her is preoccupied with the ridiculous amount of paperwork she's only done half of.

Bonnie tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and follows Caroline into the ice cream parlour, wincing at the noise emitting from it. They're always way too busy on Saturdays.

She smiles at Elena, sitting at their usual table with a sundae in front of her, head in a book. It's one she recognises- she lent it to Elena just a few weeks ago. The brunette shoves the book back into her bag as Caroline and Bonnie approach her.

Bonnie winces as someone turns up the volume on the jukebox up, sending an uncomfortable buzz in her ears. Caroline's already ordered for her- she's a little bit presumptuous, but the blonde's known her for years, and Bonnie knows that Caroline counts her as a best friend.

Bonnie only has one best friend now. She used to have two.

Don't let your mind drift, she tells herself firmly, gritting her teeth and forcing herself to listen in to Elena and Caroline's conversation.

"-He's so hot," Caroline says wistfully, swirling the straw in her strawberry milkshake. "I'm tempted to buy five of these just so he talks to me some more."

Bonnie and Elena exchange _looks_; Caroline falls in love easier and quicker than any girl in the town. It usually ends in heartbreak and a visit to the ice cream parlour to help her drown her sorrows.

Bonnie raises an eyebrow at Caroline and shakes her head. "Ask him out, then," She suggests, bangles on her wrist clinking together as she leans forward to catch a glimpse of the busboy to see if he's changed since their schooldays.

Matt's still in school, Caroline informs her, using this job to pay for university. Good for him, Bonnie thinks, because everyone knows his mother as the resident alcoholic and she hopes that one of the Donovan children make it out.

What happened to Vicki last summer was horrific, she thinks with a shudder, and shoots Matt a smile as he brings over her coke float.

"How are you?" He asks, setting the drink in front of her with his usual crooked grin.

Beside her, Caroline gapes. Bonnie smiles and tells Matt that she's fine, before introducing him to Elena and Caroline quickly.

"Oh my god," Caroline moans, "You didn't tell me you knew him!"

Bonnie only shrugs and settles more comfortably into the velour covered booth. "You didn't ask. And anyway Care, I just gave you an in."

Elena laughs softly, the sound drawing Bonnie's attention to the darker haired girl. She's been dealt a hard hand in life, Bonnie supposes, with both of her parents killed in the war and her younger brother resorting to drugs. And there's Katherine, wayward as the wind and unrelenting as a stick of wood. She never bends; only ever snaps. Elena and her aunt are fighting to keep the family afloat. They've been friends since they were six, and Bonnie knows Elena would die for her in a heartbeat.

"How's Stefan?" She asks, and Bonnie rolls her eyes. Her friends are way too hung up over her and Stefan's relationship and have no idea what it really entails.

"Come on," Caroline urges, blue eyes widening as she takes a sip of her milkshake. "How are you two?"

"We're best friends. Like we have been for the last two decades."

Caroline slumps back into her seat, earring trembling dangerously as she mutters something about _blind_ people underneath her breath. In the corner, the shop bell tinkles and Bonnie turns to find Rebekah Mikaelson striding in, Elijah and Kol accompanying her.

_Hide_, she thinks, but catches Elijah's eye and is forced to give him a polite nod. Caroline continues to swirl her strawberry shake with an unimpressed expression, and Bonnie's not surprised by the depths of Caroline's disdain for the Mikaelsons. After all, her mother is a policeman.

"I cannot stand that family," Caroline begins, narrowing her eyes in Rebekah's direction and jabbing the air with her straw. "The way that they think they're above the law just because they're from old money and they can get away with whatever they want."

"It's not right," Bonnie agrees, subtly moving back, "But can you _please_ put that straw back into your drink? I don't really want strawberry milkshake in my hair."

She soothes the crumples in the hem of her skirt and absentmindedly taps her foot to the tune Stefan was playing yesterday. She'll spend time with him today, Bonnie decides, she needs quality time with her best friend.

"Guys," Elena breathes, gripping Bonnie's arm in surprise, "They're coming over."

Caroline's eyes widen into round saucers, and Bonnie turns to see Kol striding towards her, dragging Rebekah and Elijah uncomfortably behind him.

"Bonnie!" Kol exclaims, prompting Elena's eyebrows to rise into her fringe. "Lovely to see you again. Mind if we sit here?"

She can't really say no, Bonnie realises. They're in a large booth, and she doesn't want to be the catalyst for the already strained relationships between their families to fall apart. "Sure," She says, and ignores the kick Caroline gives her under the table.

Kol slides in next to her with a smile. "How are you?"

"Alright, I guess. You?" From across the table, Bonnie can hear Caroline complimenting Rebekah on her dress in a rather strained voice and Elijah ask Elena what book she's reading.

"Tired," Kol says, and stretches his arm behind the booth. "Nik's locked himself away in his room again, refusing to come out. Something tells me he wouldn't have minded coming here if he knew you were going to be here."

Bonnie's eyes widen and her head snaps up to look at him. She can feel the weight of the table's gaze on her, but continues to ignore it and instead chooses to gaze at Kol steadily.

"Is he okay?"

Kol only raises an eyebrow and Bonnie wants to slap him. These people…they act like it's her _job_, to look after their brother. "Okay is a subjective term."

"Glad to know he's doing fine," She says, cold enough to cut glass, and stand abruptly. "Excuse me."

**X**

Bonnie walks through the streets as slowly as she can, hands clutched into fists by her side, pulse thrumming under her skin. She doesn't even know why she's so angry; at the end of the day, she understands that the three of them just want to help their brother and she's the only way that they know how. But the audacity of them, acting as if Klaus is something she needs to fix, when it wasn't even her who broke him in the first place.

"Wait!" The voice calls from behind her, and Bonnie turns to find Rebekah, clad in a red baby doll dress with a pained expression on her usually haughty face.

Bonnie quits striding, and turns to face the blonde, crossing her arms over her chest. "I apologize for Kol's behaviour," Rebekah begins stiffly, "But he's just worried about our brother."

"It's not my job to take care of your brother."

Rebekah nods, scrunches up her face and moves to place a gentle hand on Bonnie's arm. "_I _know that, but I don't think Kol quite understands. You see, after everything that happened, Klaus only got worse, and Kol seems to believe it was you who caused that."

Bonnie scoffs. "Your brother is twenty years old. I'd suggest that you all stop coddling him and tell him the truth about what really went down with Klaus. And if you don't do it, I'll do it myself."

She watches the shutters slide shut over Rebekah's expression and the ice return to her blue eyes.

"With all due respect," Rebekah says in a tone that implies the exact opposite. "You do not belong to our family, so you don't understand exactly what happens between us. Don't pretend like you do, Bonnie. A lot has changed."

"Sure," Bonnie grins with her teeth and not her eyes, the sharp smile flitting over her face like a knife. "I might not understand the inner workings of your family, but it seems to me that you have a problem. And the problem isn't me."

She doesn't hear the footsteps behind her stop, but watches the recognition in Rebekah's face, and Bonnie turns, praying to herself that it isn't Klaus.

It isn't.

Damon looks overworked as usual, the weight of his family and war etched into the premature lines around her eyes. "Bonnie," he sounds almost surprised to see her there. "I thought you'd be home."

"I'm heading there," She says, and offers him a small smile. "You coming?"

He shrugs and she turns away from Rebekah, aware that she's being rude but not really caring. Rebekah watches the two leave for five beats before turning and making her way back to her brothers and her ice cream.

"Tough day at work?" Bonnie asks sweetly when Damon yawns beside her, the sound shuddering through his body.

"Isn't it always?" He says, and Bonnie knows that the Salvatores have been hit hard by the war. Maybe not as hard as the Bennetts, but suffered great losses nonetheless. "I keep expecting to see the same faces before the war every time I walk into that building, and it hits me every day."

Something surges through Bonnie and she thinks of his dreams after the war, the severe PTSD left over from the war. "It's okay you know," She says after a moment of thought. "No matter what your dad says, you can take all the time you need to grieve. Who knows, you might never stop grieving, and that's okay too."

Damon gives her a smile as they turn of the main road and into the smooth curve that signifies the start of their three compounds. "Some days I think you're smarter than my dad. I know Stefan thinks so."

Bonnie laughs and bumps his shoulder gently with her own as they approach his front door. "I know I am."

"You coming in?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"Tell Stefan I'll come after dinner," Bonnie promises, and turns away back to her own house.

**X**

The sky is still a bright white after they finish dinner, and Bonnie waits until her dad retires to his room and Grams returns to her sewing before she slips out of the house and into the Salvatore garden, nodding at the watchman on her way in.

She's walking through the trees towards his room when a hand shoots out to grip her wrist, prompting a shrill scream to escape from Bonnie's lips.

"Holy shit," She puts a hand to her heart in an attempt to quell the fast beating pulse, "You scared me."

"Sorry," Stefan says with a laugh, and pulls her onto the bench beside him. "How was your day?"

Bonnie relaxes immediately, crossing her legs underneath her on the bench and turning to face him. "Awful- work wasn't but I met Rebekah and Kol and got into an argument with her."

Stefan shakes his head and grins, reaching out to tuck a curl of her dark hair behind her ear. "Yeah, Damon mentioned you two looking tense when he saw you. What was it about?"

"Klaus."

Bonnie expects Stefan to freeze up, as he always does when she even hints at his former best friend. Instead, he turns to watch the sun set, the pinks and oranges settling into the sky like a watercolour wash. "What about him?" He asks so quietly that she almost misses the question, masked as it is by the sound of crickets chirping.

"They think I can fix him."

"It's not your job," Stefan tells her, and even though his tone is calm she can hear the rage behind it. "This is what our families do, they take and take until you have nothing left to give. Don't get caught up in that."

Bonnie tilts her head to look into earnest eyes, sending him what she hopes is a reassuring smile.

"I won't."

He returns her smile and she wishes for a moment all this tension would just dissipate and things could go back to how they were two weeks ago. Then she looks up at the sky and sees the little gleaming square of yellow highlighted against the light sky, and feels her heart sink.

"Enough of this," Stefan stands, and holds out a hand to her. "Would you like to hear my newest composition?"

Bonnie giggles and shakes her head. "Nah," says nonchalantly, and turns away from his offered hand, smile on her lips.

Stefan looks at her in mock frustration as she walks away from him, turning to throw him a dazzling smile. "Bonnie," He groans, taking a step towards her. "Don't make me come get you."

"You wouldn't dare-" He takes another step towards her and Bonnie takes off with a giggle, running down the perfectly mowed lawn and straight into the maze. He might be faster than her, she thinks, giggle ripping free of her mouth and escaping into the warm air, but she has a head start.

She kicks off her shoes when she can hear him behind her, his shout for her to stop only spurring her own. The grass is warm from the day's sun under her toes and Bonnie hasn't felt this free in weeks.

"-You're slow," She calls over her shoulder just as his arm encloses her waist and lifts her clean off the ground, sending her swinging into his chest.

Her back hits his chest as Stefan puts his other arm around her and lifts her up. Bonnie can't help but feel her heart speed up as she feels the soft rise and fall of his chest behind her. "Caught you," Stefan says, and his warm breath tickles her earlobe.

Forget her heart speeding up, Bonnie thinks, her heart seems to have entirely stopped.

"Stefan," Damon says from the top of the maze, and the two of them snap apart, moment broken. "Father wants to speak to you."

Bonnie returns Damon's easy smile, and she brushes past Stefan with a sigh. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then," She declares before disappearing from the garden.

**X**

The house isn't quiet when she lets herself in again quietly, sliding her shoes off her feet, prepared to tiptoe up to her room. She shuts the heavy door with the gentlest of creaks and jumps when Grams calls to her.

She doesn't know what she's expecting when she steps into the room, but Esther Mikaelson is not it.

Bonnie feels her eyes widen almost involuntarily, as Grams sets down a cup of herbal tea in front of her and ushers her into her seat.

"Esther just wanted to buy some herbs," Grams says by way of explanation, and continues to busy herself with chopping some witch hazel.

In Bonnie's mind, the words come out gross and distorted as if she is saying _Esther just wanted to get a good look at you_, and with the way her eyes travel over Bonnie and lock on her, she feels as if that's what Grams really said.

Bonnie curls her fingers around her mug, doing her best to leech the heat off of it. "Where's Dad?" She asks shortly, and Grams shoots her a _look_. "Sorry."

Esther smiles tightly and shifts on the rough wooden chair she's sitting on. She looks stupidly out of place in her tweed suit and huge pearls. Bonnie has to force herself to swallow the accusation in her tone, the _why didn't you leave him_. She doesn't know the full story, she reminds herself.

"I haven't seen you in a while," Esther starts with a gentle smile, as if she's calming a jumpy colt, "You're more beautiful than I remembered."

"Thank you," Bonnie's voice prompts Grams to shoot her another look, "Nice to see you too."

"Klaus has run away," Esther begins to speak and the words won't stop jumping out of her mouth, as if she's spilling secrets she's been keeping for too long. "He ran away this morning after a fight with his father and his siblings haven't been told yet but I _know _you Bonnie, and I know you'd never turn him away. Have you seen him?"

Esther breaks off, panting slightly, and Bonnie looks at her incredulously, trying to take in what she's just said.

"He hasn't come to me," Bonnie frowns, wondering if Klaus' famously violent temper has finally exploded onto his father. No less than what Mikael deserves, she thinks grimly.

Esther shakes her head and stands, offering Bonnie a weak smile. "No, I didn't think he would. Thanks for your help anyway."

Bonnie shows her out under Grams' disapproving gaze, and she knows she's being petty, that a relationship with someone like Mikael is too difficult for her to comprehend, but all she can remember is Klaus' face.

"I'm sorry," She blurts out finally, hand resting gently on Esther's forearm, which shakes under her touch. "I'll let you know if I hear anything."

After all, Esther isn't the enemy, Bonnie thinks to herself. She remembers her promise to Stefan with a small smile as she shuts the door behind Esther, wondering where Klaus has gone.

She knows he's been saving. She knows that he's clever and she knows that he'd do anything to get out of the toxic relationship he has with Mikael.

Bonnie thinks of her own father, someone she rarely sees nowadays, yet easily the best father she knows.

She's grateful for him.

**X**

She decides to take a walk, alone in the dusky night after Grams has decided to stop yelling at her for being rude. The walk around the back of the Mikaelson compound is quiet as it always is, but tonight it seems more eerie than peaceful.

Bonnie stands and looks up at Klaus' bedroom window, slightly put off by the absence of the yellow square of light she's grown used to looking out for.

Her hands ghost the embroidered edge of her handkerchief and she gazes unseeing at the mansion.

She can remember running down the stairs as a child, crayons in her hands that got caught on the edge of one of the pristine white walls, Klaus and Stefan following her laughing.

Somewhere in the distance, a siren begins to sound, high pitched wailing which makes Bonnie's heart jump.

Almost reflexively, her fingers begin to beat a gentle rhythm onto the fabric of her blue skirt, against the warm flesh of her thighs. It's one of the songs Stefan remembers as his mother's lullaby, one of the songs they all know.

"Come back," Her lips form the words soundlessly. "I'm sorry."

The rational part of her knows that none of this was her fault- they were all just _kids_ and she should be looking to his father to direct her anger. But she can't help but wonder what it would be like if she'd stayed, if they'd both stayed.

Hopefully, neither version of his life ends with him lying in a ditch somewhere, dead.

Bonnie utters a small prayer and turns away from the house, heading back to the relative safety of her own.

* * *

**end notes: **again, not that much klonnie interaction in this one, but I hope i'm setting the scene for something good :p favorite stefan and bonnie scene so far? a character you'd like to see more of?

i debated with myself to have bonnie be a bit more sympathetic towards esther, but ended up deciding that she doesn't understand their relationship, but she does understand what klaus goes through so obviously while she hates mikael a lot, she's also going to place some of that blame on esther...

i'll shut up now. tell me what you thought!


End file.
